The one where Spencer Gives you some Sondheim to Watch.

So today is his lord and Savior, Stephen Sondheim's 85th Birthday. So I've been sitting here all day thinking about what my favorite songs of his are. I mean there are SO many. I've narrowed this list down to just a few, because. They are listed here in NO certain order.


Let's start this list off with MORE from Dick Tracy. Steve wrote 3 songs for the movie in which Madonna put on her I'm Breathless Album, which by the way will celebrate it's 25th Anniversay of release in May.

https://youtu.be/GpiE8JEkp7M

The next one I'm going to throw at you is Anyone Can Whistle from Anyone Can Whistle. Whenever I'm having one of those moments that I'm having a hard time letting go of something I cue this one up and "relax and let go".

https://youtu.be/Rj4h7EYw20s


The next two songs I'm going to talk about are from the same show. Merrily We Roll Along.

First is Now You Know, because at times (especially of late) things get crummy. This song reminds me that even through pain and heartache and set backs, it'll all work out and whatever just happened is the best thing that could have ever happened.

https://youtu.be/UCwCBZzNAN8

Second is Old Friend. I love this one because, well I'm fortunate to have friends. A lot of you have been with me through some very dark times. I cherish all of my friends, new and old. 'Here's to us, who's like us? Damn few."

https://youtu.be/pwoDo0VJJvQ


Last year I had the fortunate luck to do one of my favorite Sondheim Musicals A Funny thing Happened On the Way to the Forum, luckily for the audience I wasn't tasked with any solos. This song has always been a favorite of mine from the show, and listening to the guys sing it every night was a highlight of waiting for my first entrance.

https://youtu.be/Ahqu1nd3Zu8

One of the last shows that I saw before leaving D.C. was FOLLIES at The Kennedy Center. I didn't know much of the show other than just a few songs. The next two songs totally blew me out of the water, mainly because I didn't know them and to see them in context of the show was just well it was a religious experience. Both of them are Phyllis's songs, and let me tell you Jan Maxwell gave it to me.

The first one is Could I Leave You. I mean come on, how many of us have been in this exact situation?

https://youtu.be/aBkARq5miQw

The second one is her Follies number, watch this!

https://youtu.be/-1SqMZZjGQI


The next one up is The Boy From ... I mean come on it's just down right HILARIOUS.

https://youtu.be/qyW2IJM_ZCY


Let's be honest, we all know I love GYPSY. And we all know that I love Rose's Turn. So here it is but little do you know it's not my favorite from the show. To be honest with you my favorite is You Gotta Get a Gimmick.

I really prefer Patti's Rose's Turn when it comes to recordings, mainly because it's the one that I had the pleasure of seeing.

https://youtu.be/Mi18C2Y1HS4

Another Spencer Secret, after I saw the Bette Midler in GYPSY, the made for TV movie, was one of the first times I knew I was a homo. I wonder how many people have said that? 

https://youtu.be/R5z9fgPEOAw


Few Songs can reduce me to tears like this one. Yes. I cry. I just don't like to do it in public.

https://youtu.be/11jJu5hMrn8


And Finally, How could any list of mine not include this little ditty? I mean no explanation needed.

RISE! RISE! RISE!

https://youtu.be/virv-1o2KjE


This is more of a bonus, because it's a fucking fantastic medley of two great songs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVlHFbXi00


Well, that's all I got, there are so many wonderful songs to pick and these are just a small sample of my favorites.

xo

The one where Spencer is tired of other people bringing things to the party that are not welcome.

Friday Night I had an experience. One that I've been noticing more and more in the Gay Community here in Oklahoma City, and frankly I'm tired of it. I'm going to keep the names private, if you are reading this and you know who you are that is between you and I.

Backstory: 

A few months ago I had gone out dancing at the Copa and met a friend and his mutual friend. The mutual friend and I hit it off right away as he works for the company that I worked for before I moved to D.C., therefore we have several mutual friends. 

The Experience:

As I said, Friday night "the new friend" sent me a text asking if I was coming out. Truth be told about an hour before the text I was on the fence about it and decided to just stay in, but since I had the invite I was all "might as well", we always have a good time. After a few hours of dancing and talking and such "new friend" and I were on the dance floor, you know dancing, like you do at a dance club. When I noticed a guy, whom I will call "other guy" I know through a few other friends and having done some volunteer work with a local non-profit organization. Anway, "other guy" makes it a point to walk in, walk through the crowded dance floor, to stop us to just say "hello". I was all like "well that was awkward as fuck", but whatever.  I honestly didn't think anything about it again until Saturday Night. 

Saturday Night, "other guy" who had my phone number from a recent even we did for the previously mentioned not for profit, sent me a text message saying "hey. you have fun with "new friend" last night?" I said "I did, did you?"  And then I said "So, you know 'new friend'?" he said 'Yeah, been a while. Y'all seeing each other? " me: "No." him: "been out more than once? I hope you have a good time. You start dating him, I promise to be NICER next time I see him." Me: "Ok. I'm gonna need backstory."  Him: "Nope. But tell me if it doesn't work out. We can commiserate over a scoop of Rocky Road Ice Cream." 

My thoughts:

What does it matter if "new friend" and I are dating?  I am a grown man. I can make my own decisions. Why do you feel the need to project your negativity on me? I get it you obviously have some sort of history that wasn't a good experience for you, but WHY MUST YOU FEEL THE NEED to bring that into my life? I didn't ask for it. And finally your use of "Rocky Road" while funny to you was just down right offensive to me. 

In Conclusion: 

And

 

The one where Spencer goes, well it's time.......

It's been a damn minute since the last post. I won't bore you with the details of the last 13+ months other than. I'm back and ready to write.

Enjoy the Ride! 

 

The one where Spencer gets a title for his book and one man show....

Oh, Hey y'all!

I love titles. Coming up with titles for my forthcoming book and one man. The list is long and fun. However, the search is over I have found it!

Last night at work I had to go diffuse a situation at work between two clients. Things got heated. I of course kept my cool and remained collected. One patient did not, in fact it bothered him that I never stooped to his level. After I walked out of the room I heard him talking to one of the nurses and called me "The Motherfucker with the bowtie"!

Ladies and Gentleman, and Flamboyant Gentlemen I give you the title for my book and one man show....

Spencer Hankins: The Motherfucker with a the bowtie

xoxo

s

The one where Spencer Feels as if he is doing some good in the world....

As most of you know, I have spent the last five month unemployed. It was the longest, hardest period of my life. But also opened the doors for me to start doing stuff that I would have never thought I'd do. For instance, I started RUNNING! ME THE FAT KID, who hated exercise and being active because I was always the slowest. With the encouragement of some very good friends (you know who you are if you are reading this) I've done 2 5k's and signed up for two more. In October my best friend and I are going to start training for a 1/2 Marathon in the spring.

Two weeks ago I found a job! It seems as though this job is exactly what I didn't know I needed. I'm working for a medical detox facility here in OKC. It is hard work to be on the "frontlines" and I just want to remind "Addiction is a real thing, y'all". I had an experience yesterday that made me feel like I've finally done some good in the world. Earlier in the week I had encountered a person who was so strung out on "everything but the kitchen sink" he couldn't even form a sentence. Yesterday, I he came by after a few days clean and thanked me for helping him get his life back in line and for being as he called me "the man". I was so overcome with emotion that I went to my office and cried and was full of gratitude for finding sobriety when I found and by the grace of "elaine" been able to maintain it for the last six years.


Love and Light y'all.

The one where Spencer reflects on a decade of change

10 years ago this morning I checked myself into South Crest Hospital tipping the scales at 525 lbs. What happened that morning changed my life, I had made the decision about a year before this to have the Gastric Bypass. It was a very hard decision to make, not the easy way out as SO many people said it was.

At the age of 26 I was at what I thought was the lowest point of my life. I could not walk from my car to my desk without stopping for a break to catch my breath. I knew what the problem was and it was food. A lot of people would say "just stop eating", well that to a normal person is easy but to someone who is addicted to food not so much. I was ready to change. I was ready to deal with what was going on "inside my head".

Now that a decade has passed I look back on all the things I have done since making the decision to change my lifestyle. Yes, there have been a LOT of ups and downs, even coming to the realization that I was an alcoholic. (That is a whole other story for another time.) For now, FINALLY I live life.

Thank you to all who have loved and supported be over the past decade. I couldn't have made it without you.

This was me 10 years ago....

The one in which Spencer faces his fears....

It's all about facing your fears. I refuse to be held back and not doing things that I was once made fun of because I was "fat. With the 10 year anniversary of having the gastric bypass rapidly approaching and being 14 pounds away  from the goal weight I sat when I had it. I've gotten this "refreshed" view on obtaining that goal.

5 weeks ago I started doing the Couch to 5K program. I've always hated running. That hatred stems from being "that fat kid in gym class" being ridiculed (or to use a more current term Bullied) because I was slow and couldn't keep up with everyone else. I've always had this fear about "working out" in public because of these deep rooted fears from my childhood and then into my college years.

Well, yesterday after some prodding from 2 really good friends I joined a gym! This is huge y'all. I went today for the first time to run on the treadmill with one of those friends. The good news is, I didn't fall of the treadmill (almost but caught myself). The other good news is NO ONE MADE FUN OF ME!

So, with that I will start facing more of my fears. What will be next? My fear of commitment and abandonment? I dunno. Stay tuned. More will be revealed.